Tuesday, April 01, 2008
April Fools' Day
I'm afraid that I don't have my own April Fool's Day joke to share with you, so I point you to The Top 100 April's Fool Day Hoaxes. Eating and drinking while reading hoaxes not recommended.
#1: The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest
In 1957 the respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied that they should "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."
Some of my other favorites include the Taco Bell Liberty Bell and the Australian Iceberg. Enjoy!
Labels: fun
Friday, January 05, 2007
My Peculiar Aristocratic Title
 | My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Her Noble Excellency Wimsey the Calm of Chalmondley Chumleyton Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title |
From my fellow aristocrat Earl Domenico the Superficial of Kesslington under Ox.
Labels: fun
Monday, October 02, 2006
A little musical nonsense
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Scio cur summae inter se dissentiant! Numeris Romanis utor!
Cardinal Sean has some pictures up on his blog of Vatican City, including this picture of the Vatican's ATM Machine. Just a reminder that Latin is still alive and well at Vatican City! Check out the blog for a lot more pictures.
Labels: fun
Friday, September 01, 2006
How many art history majors does one country need?
Courtesy of my college professor, an article all about Canada's immigration woes:
June 2006
Manitoba Herald, Canada
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into
Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased
patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush
are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll
soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing
their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold,
exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some
free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even
get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare
Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said.
"The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much
they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive
them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an
Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of
drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,
though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing
re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic
beer and watch NASCAR races.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of
crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on
bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian
immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the
supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary
Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.
"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show,
we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian
economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many
art-history majors does one country need?"
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada,
Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and
pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals,
a source close to Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul
& Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on
postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out," he said.
June 2006
Manitoba Herald, Canada
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into
Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased
patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush
are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll
soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing
their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold,
exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some
free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even
get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare
Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said.
"The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much
they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive
them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an
Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of
drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,
though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing
re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic
beer and watch NASCAR races.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of
crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on
bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian
immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the
supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary
Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.
"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show,
we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian
economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many
art-history majors does one country need?"
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada,
Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and
pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals,
a source close to Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul
& Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on
postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out," he said.
Labels: fun
Monday, April 10, 2006
Hey Ladies
Mr. Write is looking for a good woman. Only trouble is, according to him, they don't exist. So, he's got a novel idea - stick all the good ones you can find in a chick zoo.
But seriously, good women - and I mean truly good - are just too few and far between. I can't be sure, but I think if they were animals they would qualify for the endangered species list.
Hmmm. I'm pretty sure it's the good men that are an endangered species.
That's why I think we should be able to create a place where we can keep good women behind glass for paying customers to observe; sort of a living museum. Alright. A woman zoo.
Well, anyway, I found it amusing.
I can just see the newsperson reporting “Dana has an MBA from Brown, can drink a pony keg of Molson in 45 minutes, speaks four languages and can explain - in great detail - the infield fly rule. Isn’t she cute?”
MBA - check, pony keg of Molson - well..., speaks four languages - check (it doesn't say fluently!), can explain the infield fly rule - check
Hey! One good woman over here!
But seriously, good women - and I mean truly good - are just too few and far between. I can't be sure, but I think if they were animals they would qualify for the endangered species list.
Hmmm. I'm pretty sure it's the good men that are an endangered species.
That's why I think we should be able to create a place where we can keep good women behind glass for paying customers to observe; sort of a living museum. Alright. A woman zoo.
Well, anyway, I found it amusing.
I can just see the newsperson reporting “Dana has an MBA from Brown, can drink a pony keg of Molson in 45 minutes, speaks four languages and can explain - in great detail - the infield fly rule. Isn’t she cute?”
MBA - check, pony keg of Molson - well..., speaks four languages - check (it doesn't say fluently!), can explain the infield fly rule - check
Hey! One good woman over here!
Labels: fun
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Do you know what time it is?
It's 01:02:03 on 04/05/06.
Enjoy your second. You won't get another one for one hundred years.
Enjoy your second. You won't get another one for one hundred years.
Labels: fun
